Penguins having fun...

It is just amazing how a whole lot of people believe that animals are incapable of doing things just because they are having fun. Whenever I look at how my little Kanga-roo steals the Chinese Rat's toy, jumps up onto a sofa, out of reach, and slowly chews away on it, right on the edge, in full sight, I know that she is not only having fun, but also being profoundly mischievous.

Animals are so much more than what we can imagine or understand. We cannot realize their full being because we have fought hard to dissociate from them, and single the human race out as something very special.

But what about these penguins using an iceberg as a slide? What are they doing it for, if not simple fun and joy? Penguins are anyway hilarious, but this will make you smile for sure!

The split between mind and heart...

My last blog entry, on intuition, caused more reactions than any previous one. And while we seem to be very much divided about what intuition is and how intuition and reason connect, it is indeed an ancient topic that all generations have tried to disentangle.

The splits between what we think and what we feel are too many to be comprehensively discussed. There are several examples that come readily to my mind. But today I want to focus on one: the scars of bullying.

I was severely bullied when I was a teen. Product of a completely dysfunctional family, loneliness, a chronic depression and the impossible-to-tame kernel of rebellion, I was a punkish girl--an emo in the 80's--with one single friend. Her life was much less complicated, but due to boredom or whatever reason, she played along with me. Soon we were despised by all girls at school, classified as lesbians, shouted at by boys, some of who chose to assault me on the street.

I overcame that episode of my life with certain degree of grace, ending high school with lots of friends. However, I did not overcome the scars of bullying. And I did not notice this backlog until recently.

I am afraid that there are people who will always be bullies. They enjoy making fun of others and they make a sport out of hacking away on those that are weaker than they are. Such behavior triggers two distinct reactions in me. If targeted at others, it makes me rage against the bully. It gives me a purpose, namely, to stop others from feeling the way I did. If targeted at me, I withdraw. Then, I become insecure and vulnerable and therefore aggressive. In the end, I probably break.

I cannot tell you how much I hate acknowledging that I am still not over my own experience as an object of bullying. It still hurts. It still makes me cringe. The rational understanding does not help the negative emotion to subside. And it is not gone, in the same way in which bullies are not automatically gone, even when they become adults.

Bullying needs to be treated, and if your kids are on one or another side of this paradox, please deal with it. If your kid is a bully, s/he needs your love, support and encouragement to grow into a respectful human being. If your kid is being bullied, please don't just wait for her to muster the strength and speak up. The best way of dealing with an emotional scar is not to let it happen in the first place.

Intuition

Such a small word. And yet, it means so much, in so many layers of life.

There are people who act and react according to reasons, logical thinking and analytical processes. They have a rational explanation for the choices they make. They probably even have notes that detail the trail of their rational choices. They are the "rat-choicers" (sic) of life.

I know that I can think rationally. I know that I have important analytic capacity. Nevertheless, I also know that all the relevant decisions of my life have been based on intuition. And, even more, that up to 3/4 of my daily decisions stem from intuition.

So, what is intuition? How can we define it? And how can we strengthen it? (Of course, I am biased, and I believe that intuition has to be strengthened, if anything). Where does it come from? Is it our unconscious sending signals and telling us what to do, despite reason and rationality? Is it the result of millenniums of development of the human brain? Or is it the product of many different lives, lived by us across times?

Intuition has determined my life. Has it determined yours?

The heat is on...

..and it is everywhere!!! Oh. My. Dog.

Mexico City is unbearable! It is hot. Hot. Hot. And Happyland, being the last floor of the building, is just crazy!

And then, there are people who say that global warming is a scam. F.... Republicans! They are so stupid! And selfish. And ignorant.

This is nothing but a small rant.... In reality, it is an attempt to get back to the blog, where I have been absent for too long.

A different Africa

Maputo is my entry point to lusophone Africa. Up to this moment, I had only been to Northern Africa and to English-speaking sub-Saharan Africa. But the feeling in Mozambique is very different.

The urban planning and design immediately strikes familiar chords in my heart. This actually looks and feels like the world that I am most acquainted with. The streets have side walks and are green with exuberant trees. The common architecture looks strangely familiar. Food is simple, very natural, extremely tasty.

Below the surface, the feeling of the spirit and culture resembles all I have lived and thrived in. The respectful dress code, so common among Latins. The tradition of good, real lunches--as opposed to sandwiches or salads. And the ease of long, pleasant and cherished conversations in small coffee shops.

I have only had a first glimpse of Maputo. But this is a place to come back to.

High as the sky...

Looking from Clifton toward Camps Bay. Feeling the sun on my skin. Hearing the waves break, endlessly, distant, but so close. Lion's Head is right behind us.

I can feel the lawn under my hands. It feels green, fresh. It smells like the sea. Like emotions.

I bury my feet in the sand. The waves keep breaking, endlessly, so close, but distant. If I were to focus on them, capture their energy--I could feed on their blue, fly into the sun.

There is no reason to run, no reason to escape. This velvety feeling--the taste of serenity dripping off my soul.

My spiritual homeland.

Getting ready to hit the road...

...one more time.

My three days in NY were far too short to actually breathe in the city. But the six hours I spent walking around, buying food at the Deli, and hanging out in cool places were quite substantial. It was cold the first day, but then spring the next one--a sudden change that is as much part of NY as a good bagel with Lox cream cheese.

I took the red-eye flight out of NY at midnight on thursday, arriving here before the sun went up on friday. While those flights are a killer, this one actually allowed me to crawl into bed with the raccoon, the Chinese Rat and Kanga-roo, and wake up four hours later, as if I spent the whole night there. That restores the balance in my own private universe.

But, I will be off on monday again. Gone for another two weeks to Africa. My spiritual homeland. But, without the creatures that inhabit Happyland.

I want to wake up...

...in a city that never sleeps... And that is exactly what will happen.
Why is New York so special? Why are we endlessly attracted to this crazy city?
It is, certainly, more vibrant than almost any other city.

Manu, Shaams and I make sure that we go at least once a year. The same way in which the raccoon and I always make it to Cape Town, my sistas and me continue to end up in New York. We walk up and down Manhattan, stroll around the Village and enjoy the green air in Central Park--watching dogs and their pets (who believe to be their owners) run and enjoy.

We never get tired of it. It is never boring. The city hat never sleeps is always exactly that: an endless stream of energetic pulsations, which come up through the ground, fill your veins and explode in your heart.

I am looking forward to it, once again.

Youssou N'Dour

Last night we went to the 12th International Cape Town Jazz Festival, to see Youssou N'Dour perform. He sang Bob Marley's Redemption Song, propelling the crowd into bliss.

In my mind and my heart, Redemption Song is a sweet memory from the first time I came to Cape Town, 11 years ago. That time, I took the ride to Robben Island, to see the cell where Nelson Mandela spent a lifetime before peacefully pushing the apartheid government into extinction. The song was playing on the ferry on our way back, with the bluest sky ever hanging over Table Mountain--the sun light as clear as it can only be in the cape.

Seeing Youssou N'Dour last night was wonderful! Not only does he stand for everything I love in African music, but also for the spirit of Africa, the humility and the human dignity that is so unique to the continent. He is a bit older than I expected. He looks thinner than I thought he would. But he is larger than life.

Getting drunk with very young people...

...in rainy Seattle. This is not something that I would have foreseen. But it was a side effect of being called "the grooviest evaluator" by a class of students on their way out of college and into real life. And it was A LOT OF FUN.

Hanging out with kids that are making up their minds--at least sporadically--about what they want to do for the rest of their lives is compelling. They have the urge to find something meaningful, but the ease of knowing that life is just beginning. They are somehow troubled, but not yet too much, and believe that everything remains to be done, at the same time of being jittery about what the future will bring for each of them, individually.

This particular group, which worked as a Task Force for one of the research/advocacy projects of the PI, was deeply inspired by the work of gropus all over the world, working to hold their governments to account. They were passionate about budgets as a tool for advocacy, and passionate about making change happen. And even if only one of them takes this as a lasting input into what they want to do with their lives, it was worth it.

It also made me think about those people who have been an inspiration to me. Some are gone, many remain. And I have the privilege of working by their side, of building something together with them, and of learning from them. Strangely enough, I don't feel too far away from the Task Force kids--I am happy to say that I am still excited thinking about what life can bring and what changes might happen.

But, I should get drunk more often.

The urge to set impossible goals...

...has been a part of my life for many years. I just can't get enough. It seems that I have the quest of always overthrowing my last achievement, and reaching out for something even more challenging, crazier. Where others would take a step back and say 'wait a minute, I am not really sure if I want to get into this', I jump ahead.

Fearless. Thriving in excitement, swimming in adrenaline.

According to Dr. Brainscan, the key to my reckless behavior is the last word of the previous sentence. Adrenaline. While adrenaline is naturally produced in high-stress or physically exhilarating situations to improve our chances of survival, it also gives a depressed mind what it needs to keep running. To be adrenalized takes away the blues and makes your mind go into overdrive. It is addictive.

But there is something more besides the chemical addiction. We learn how to live and how to survive. We learn to stand at the edge. We gamble and we enjoy it. And this defines us as much as our addictions.

But, wait a minute... Is that REALLY different from the chemical addiction? Where does the circle end and where does it begin? Does it really matter?

Whatever.... Never mind. I love it, and I am riding high on a new challenge.

...You just grow into an animal yourself!

As everyone who reads this blog knows, the racoon and the cosmic mouse are obsessed with the chinese rat and Kanga-roo. We live and breathe with them, and thrive in their little eyes and with their larger-than-life personalities. They are an endless source of love and fun, because most of the time they are, well, lovely and hilarious!

The symbiosis between species can be mind-blowing. I know that some of you will say that I am a romantic, and that I am ignoring the fact that all of these creatures start out and can end up being perfectly wild but, hey, so do we. But sharing your life with other species is a a learning adventure, in which all those things that define "human superiority" can be re-interpreted.

Just watch this penguin, and smile...

On sundays and family traditions...

For many years, decades even, I used to abhor sundays. Sundays were the epitome of everything that was wrong in my life. While my friends would spend the day at the club, playing tennis and hanging out, having big family lunches, or watching movies, I would be at home, embedded in my dysfunctional family--barely eating, cleaning after everyone, surrounded by never-ending arguments, no VCR in existence, no phone to speak with my friends and, at least, vicariously experience a nice sunday. Nowhere to go.

Weekends were a monstrosity, because there was no place to hide, and reality would hit me right in my face.

Everything that made me hate sundays is behind what makes me LOVE them now. Sunday is the favorite day of this extraterrestrial rodent, for sooooooo many reasons... Just read some of them below, and tell me if they also stand for you:

1. Wake up without the alarm clock going off,
2. Breakfast in bed,
3. Endless minutes, even hours, cuddling with the racoon and the two little rats,
4. No need to leave bed, if wanted,
5. Long morning strolls through a beautiful neighborhood,
6. Buying fresh fruit, vegetables, cheese and flowers at the market, without having to drive,
7. Setting the flowers up at home,
8. Preparing lunch, or going out for lunch, without a hurry,
9. In season, spend hours watching American football, with friends, chatting, and having fun,
10. Continue to be in bed, if wanted...
11. No need to shower,
12. Read magazines, books,
13. Have dinner in bed, watching a movie...

POWER to the PEOPLE!!!!

It gives me the shivers... Goosebumps.

The scenes from Cairo, now that Mubarak finally stepped down, are amazing. It is an example of what can happen when people decide that enough is enough. To think that we were in Egypt two months ago, and none of this was in the air. And then, all of the sudden, people take Tahrir square, refuse to leave, and bring Mubarak to his knees.

History unfolding.

The big question is what comes next. Hopefully, the people of Egypt will not allow their victory to fade away. Hopefully, they will push for a transition from current military authority to a civil government that can develop the basis for institutional democracy. Hopefully, the will not give up the power they claimed, and continue to transform their reality.

The social network...

After seeing that the Social Network has been nominated and won a series of awards, I definitely wanted to see it. Located at Harvard, it depicts a story that, in terms of its cybernetic hallmarks, would have been impossible to imagine when I was dreaming about studying at the John F. Kennedy School of Government. The greed, competition and drive to excel, if possible by stepping on others, is as old as humanity.

To think that exactly that was the environment that I wanted to be in, seems unreal. The Colmex certainly qualifies. And it wasn't that much fun. But it didn't seem to be enough. I was convinced that if I wanted to be successful, outstanding, and compensate for "years of powerlessness", I needed to be far beyond average, top of the top. Of course I wanted to go to Harvard--nowhere else.

The one piece that did not really match with my theory is my dislike of elitism. The arrogance, detachment and stupid vanity of social, economic and political elites makes me want to throw up. As the racoon says, I have the gene of rebellion hardwired into my brain, blood, heart and soul.
Ultimately, this gene made me take a sharp turn, trash the Harvard dream, and go down a different path. Looking back, there might be no other detour as important as this one in my life. The ride has been fantastic!

And just to close the subject... I don't think that The Social Network has anything extraordinary in it. It is, quite frankly, average.