I have been home for a week and a half now, but will leave tomorrow again, towards NY. I thought that by this moment, I would feel in a not so dark place. But it is not really getting any better. The slope is still downwards.
As a result, the question keeps coming back, taking my sleep, filling the corners of my mind with anxiety: What is the purpose of all this? Is it worth it? Am I on the right path?
Or am I just the shadow of what I could be... That is the most persistent doubt. I want to expand, explode. Go farther, go to extremes... I feel like a fading flower.
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